Benefits Of Fostering Child Independence

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One should always ask themselves what they want from their child as they grow up and become an adult to learn more about the relationship between parents and child. By doing this, you will avoid feeling as if you should expect more from your kid as he strives to become the person he wants to be. The parent-child relationship can be better understood by looking at your desire for your child’s future.

Allowing your child to become more independent can be difficult as a parent. It’s unsettling because, although you know they must make errors, you don’t want them to cause harm to others, enter into trouble, or harm themselves. In addition to relieving some of your parental burdens, you want to assist your child in developing into a well-rounded adult. Thus, fostering your child’s independence is vital. But it may not be very comforting, so you must be careful.

As a parent, you should allow your kid to make mistakes since it’s in his nature. If anything is likely to go wrong, don’t only step in if there is a chance your child might sustain severe harm. A kid gains insight into his experiences. He’ll know what appropriate and inappropriate behavior in various situations is and how to prevent repeating such mistakes. Making errors teaches him to think critically, an important ability he should begin learning as soon as possible.

Since many people ignore their responsibilities and place the blame elsewhere, responsibility is a hot topic. Fostering independence in a child is crucial since it teaches him a sense of responsibility. Your child will learn the value of accountability and responsibility if you encourage independence. It is up to your kid to act morally when someone else won’t do anything.

Independence is significant because…

It Promotes Self- Confidence As Well As Encouragement And Decisiveness

Kids with high self-esteem do better at home, at school, and with their friends. Children who have poor self-esteem are self-conscious. They might only participate if they believe that others will accept them. They could be weak in self-defense and allow others to take advantage of them badly. Therefore, encouraging independence is essential to ensure they have sufficient opportunities to grow up to be healthy people. It’s difficult to help your child become independent because you know they will make mistakes. Nonetheless, the process enables your kid to explore and attempt new ideas. It enables the child to take on new tasks, no matter how difficult or unfamiliar, and develop emotional and social abilities.

It Helps Them Tackle Fears And Avoid Too Much Reliance On Parents

Encouraging children to be self-sufficient is crucial for their holistic growth. It gives kids the abilities and self-assurance they need to go about the world independently. It is crucial to begin developing these abilities early so that, as people get older, they develop into habits. Your kids will always go to you for help, especially when they have challenging tasks they don’t feel like they can handle independently. This tendency is acceptable when they are still young, but they’ll become more dependent as they get older. Thus, early independence-building needs to prepare kids to face scary situations on their own.

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It Allows Your Child To Feel They Have Control Over Their Life

Providing options to your kid makes him feel like he has some influence and control over his actions. It’s a stage of maturation. Only some things are set up for it. Your child will use the ability to make wise decisions for the rest of his life. As a result, encouraging child independence gives your kid the freedom to make decisions while also letting him know you trust him. The benefits of fostering child independence are linked to almost everything you desire for your kid, including his academic performance, job success, physical and emotional well-being, and self-motivation—even more than being in control.

It Gives Your Child A Sense Of Importance And Belonging

Studies show that kids who feel like they belong are better learners and are less likely to experience mental health issues. Children who have a sense of belonging are happy, calm, and less prone to behavioral issues. In addition, their motivation and success as learners are higher, which is crucial for fostering social bonds and positively impacting society. Confidence in oneself and in others is developed in children through the promotion of independence as well as a sense of belonging. Children are more capable of cultivating relationships based on trust when they feel like they belong as they accurately and flexibly regulate their feelings.

It Develops Their Levels Of Self-Awareness And Sensitivity Towards Others

Being more aware of oneself has several advantages. We feel more capable, self-assured, and productive. These are crucial for kids, too, when they start to develop other abilities like building trusting connections and making wise judgments. Children who are self-aware are better able to pause and reflect on their behavior and actions, take a step back and examine the experiences of others around them, and think critically about how they treat themselves. It’s an essential component of emotional intelligence since understanding who they are and how they affect those around them will develop a variety of soft skills, such as better communication, solid connections, and respect.

It Teaches Them Self-Motivation

Fostering child independence can cultivate self-motivated learning habits. It is among the greatest favors you can offer your kids. They will acquire more with less effort and discover true happiness and excitement in the world around them more readily if they have a stronger love of learning. It is also beneficial to one’s opportunities to be an independent learner. When the kids, innate curiosity is nourished and fostered, they have a lot to learn. Self-motivated kids are happier and more mentally healthy than those who depend on other people’s praise to make them feel positive about themselves. Early childhood motivation helps develop young minds to take on greater responsibility and engage in more creative and diverse learning during their lives as they are free to discover their own motivations for success.

It Provides Them With The Belief That They Are Competent And Capable

Children’s curiosity drives them to learn and comprehend more. Children are seen as competent contributors to society who are engaged as important elements of the larger community. Children who are raised competently also benefit in the long run. They want to be in control of their thoughts, efforts, and decisions and take satisfaction in their accomplishments. They become more self-assured and resilient to outside obstacles as a result of their increasing capacity to make wise judgments about how to take care of themselves. It helps kids control their emotions and behaviors and enables them to form wholesome relationships. Emotionally and socially adept kids typically perform better academically and form closer bonds with others.

It Allows Them To Become Good Decision-Makers

Children who are able to make their own decisions become more self-reliant, accountable, and self-assured. It increases resilience and lowers anxiety by giving the kids a sense of control over their lives. Furthermore, because kids are free to weigh all of their options before selecting the one they think is best, it promotes self-exploration and enables them to clarify their beliefs. Giving kids the ability to accept responsibility for their behavior through decision-making instruction can help them become more independent and self-assured. Developing superior decision-making and judgment skills is one of the most important aspects of their overall development.

 It Generates Additional Vital Qualities That Are Positive

In addition to stressing the significance of teaching children and practicing behaviors that represent universal ethical qualities like patience, attention, self-help, teamwork, self-discipline, and self-trust, fostering child independence also provides adults and young people with guidelines for living. The essential traits enable the child to withstand hardship and make ethically sound decisions when presented with obstacles. Children desire to be in a safe environment where they may learn about and be encouraged to develop virtues like patience, kindness, justice, and honesty.

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It Gives Them The Freedom To Experience Life

Children who are encouraged to be independent have a strong sense of accomplishment and success as a direct outcome of their own activities, and they completely absorb the many valuable lessons that come with it. This leads to happier and healthier children. The ability of your children to make independent choices and decisions is known as freedom. Their right to be free from prejudice is granted by it as it’s essential to living a contented and joyful life. The children naturally have the right to be themselves, free from outside interference, when they have individual independence. It guarantees children’s freedom to seek out, gather, receive, and possess information, as well as the most effective possible means of expressing themselves.

It Makes Them Happy And Healthy

Kindness and moral integrity are fostered by happiness. Children who are happy have a strong sense of fulfillment and achievement as a direct outcome of their own behavior, which leads to better levels of self-confidence and self-worth, greater extroversion, and positive social behaviors like giving and sharing. Children who are happy don’t grow up to be the troublemakers. It stops tantrums, disobedience, and disobedient actions. Additionally, their risk of health issues both now and in the future is significantly lower. Children are more willing to venture outside of their comfort zone and be receptive to new experiences when they are pleased.

Final Thoughts

Even though you might not want your children to grow up too fast, they must learn to be independent. If they don’t, they could respond with hostility and resistance, experience feelings of neglect, and adopt an attitude that comes across as uncaring. Please get in touch if you want more information about ways to support your kids’ self-sufficiency growth. A professional counselor can provide support and direction with child and family counseling training.

 

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The Importance Of Communicating With Teenagers

Many families find that raising teenagers may be challenging. Young individuals’ ideas, attitudes, and opinions could vary from those of their guardians or parents. That’s because this is a typical step on their path to becoming independent. When these children get older and are exposed to diverse situations, parents may find it difficult to determine how much independence is appropriate.

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Although parents frequently emphasize the value of having lengthy conversations with teenagers about important subjects, connecting with them when it counts most often depends on the capacity to connect with these teens when other things don’t. Identifying the main concerns will be simpler or more difficult depending on how parents interact with them daily.

This doesn’t have a prescribed treatment. Given their uniqueness, young people require varying kinds of supervision. Talking to teenagers can be stressful and argumentative since it differs from talking to younger children.

Disagreements, pressuring, and criticizing are harmful communication patterns that parents might easily fall back into once they’re in. Though you might have to use delicateness to communicate, your adolescent may still require your direction and the boundaries you set and uphold. Treating authority-averse teenagers differently than an inherently polite child may require you to use different methods of asserting your authority.

Even if you occasionally disagree with your adolescent, they still need to know that you are attentive and interested in them, that you care, and that you support them. It takes understanding and emotional fortitude to continue helping when faced with resistance and indifference.

Maintaining open lines of communication with your adolescents is essential to developing a good rapport and resolving any communication issues. If you get better at what you do, you can get your teens to be less indifferent and rebellious. Adolescents frequently exhibit behaviors that make it challenging for parents to provide them with the love and acceptance they need most. You cannot change your teens, but you can control your actions and your behavior. When you carry out things differently, your children will likely copy you and change their behavior.

What Is Effective Communication?

Effective communication between you and your teens occurs when:

  • You may openly discuss your emotions and that they are being heard and understood.
  • You discuss anything, even the small things, and when necessary, you feel at ease discussing controversial topics.
  • You know you won’t be criticized since you love and care about each other and have a comfortable and simple way of communicating things.

Teens can be challenging to communicate with at times, and in busy homes, it can be simple to forget to set aside time each day for a meaningful conversation in which you can learn about your teens’ lives.

When your teens are no longer as dependent on you as they once were, the interaction between parents and adolescents seems to decline, making it more difficult to stay informed about every detail that’s going on in their lives. Because of their increased independence, you must set aside time to see how they’re doing.

You and your young adults’ connection continues to develop, and you must be adaptable and willing to adjust. However, never assume these adolescents no longer value you as an advisor. They still need you in the same way as they did during childhood. Encouraging them to reach out to you with any issues they’re having is the best approach to support them, which is why having a good and solid foundation of communication is crucial.

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Communication Tips With Teenagers

Maintaining open channels of communication is crucial. Among the suggestions are:

Listen More Than You Speak: Remember that every one of us has a single mouth and a pair of ears. This serves as a reminder that listening should take up twice as much effort as talking. This is particularly crucial when communicating with teenagers, who could open up to us more if we wait to speak for a while. The same assistance you would offer a friend is what they need from you. Therefore, listen to them without expressing suggestions or judgment.

Talk Off-Message: As a parent, you frequently neglect to spend time with your adolescents because you’re too focused on what you think are the crucial topics to discuss with them, such as problematic companions, schoolwork, and loud music preferences. Your teenagers will avoid you if they realize that every interaction you have is an opportunity to correct them on something. However, suppose they are accustomed to casual conversation about enjoyable topics, unimportant matters, or activities they enjoy. In that case, they will stop, pay attention, and feel at ease around you. They will then probably listen to what you say when you want to talk to them about a significant issue or ask them to do things differently.

Use Open Questions – Another essential strategy for improving communication with teenagers is open-ended inquiries. Closed questions, to which there is only a yes or no response, restrict rather than facilitate interaction. Closed questions don’t require a longer response or a brief response. You can imply or tell someone what you’d prefer them to hear by asking closed-ended questions. Closed questions are meant to be taken rather than addressed when they are used to criticize someone’s looks, habits, or demeanor. Additionally, it frequently follows an argument.

Practice What You Preach: Giving your adolescent instructions to accomplish something while disregarding the rules yourself is one method to lose your teenagers’ trust or belief in you. Even if you assume it’s different, if you are drinking and doing drugs, lectures about them could be ignored. Because you also do it, they might reject your counsel. They might also conclude that, given your disregard for your guidelines on some matters, they are free to disregard your advice on other matters. It will always be better to set an example of excellent behavior for them rather than preach it.

Share Something: It’s helpful to be transparent yourself if you want your adolescents to feel comfortable and pleased about expressing their worries and emotions with you. This does not imply that you should fill your adolescent’s head with anxieties that would make them uncomfortable or that they shouldn’t know about. Young individuals look up to parents as being in charge and wise. If you maintain an illusion of never experiencing difficulties, obstacles could develop around you and your teenage kids. They can start to feel unwilling and that nobody else comes to understand the concerns they have. Teenage kids might assume you cannot understand them since you don’t feel like they do. They start to believe you are fake, insincere, and in denial, making them reluctant to confide in you.

Give Them Privacy: There are aspects about your teenagers that you don’t like. One is they spend too much time on their computers and phones, have disorganized rooms, and treat their home like a hotel. However, you might not be able to get along if that’s all you see. Making an effort to find something good about them that you enjoy is helpful to building a lasting relationship. Every time you feel like you should be upset or furious with them for anything you believe they should have done or not done, focus on the positives and encourage yourself to appreciate one of them. Teens require personal space and that explains their untidy behavior. They feel comfortable with their mess.

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Keep Up With Their Interests – Teenagers can be talked to throughout breakfast and dinner, even if they are frequently preoccupied with their peers, school, and other activities. Offer to drive them somewhere or pick them up from somewhere. This will open up more conversational avenues. Some teenagers claim that their parents or guardians only speak to them to correct them. Thus, attempt to maintain their attention rather than cause conflict in your relationship with your teenagers. Please pay attention to their sporting practices, watch TV shows with kids, and listen to their music. You must maintain your involvement in their lives.

Be A Loving Parent – Teens frequently struggle with their shifting sense of personality during adolescence, and they seek to feel valued. Inform them frequently what you expect them to be and use whatever physical touch they feel comfortable with to express your affection. Honor their accomplishments, extend forgiveness for their errors, pay attention to their problem-solving strategies, and express interest in solving their problems. Please encourage them to solve difficulties. Remember that positive emotions facilitate effective communication. All young people need to feel special and included to have a strong self-worth. Make time for relaxation and having a good time and enjoy.

Show Unconditional Love –  Your teenagers deserve to understand that you love them regardless of anything, so show these children your unconditional love while setting firm expectations for their behavior. Note that this is not the same as endorsing, tolerating, or permitting their actions. It’s helpful to remember that you may not like your teens’ behavior ( not them) when you find yourself in conflict with them. You might prefer to deal with the behavior rather than the teenagers themselves. They often do typical behavior for their developmental stage and age. However, there are undoubtedly instances in which you must deal with it accordingly.

Insight

Teens find it much easier to talk and communicate with you when they sense that you sympathize with them and understand what they are going through. That communication takes off when they trust you to be honest with them when needed. They could ask you to step in at certain moments and will undoubtedly want you to offer guidance and encouragement at other times. However, in both situations, if they know you’ll wait for the request rather than stepping in or assuming it’s your place and obligation to assist, the relationship will be stronger, and your willingness to help is more likely appreciated.

Resources are available to assist you and your teenage kids in resolving challenging situations. For information and recommendations, the healthcare professional is a terrific place to start.

FAQs

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Things I Told My Therapist That I Don’t Want My Family To Know

I have been struggling with mental and emotional dilemmas lately, so I went and saw a therapist. It was a session filled with tear-jerking moments because I was all out with my feelings and discussed even my deepest secrets.

What’s Going On?

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I Am Not Okay

I am a mom who handles five kids every day. I take care of their stuff from home and school. For me, it has been the role I have always wanted. I am doing those things for my kids, and I believe no one would do better than me when caring for them.

However, the problem is that I get a little exhausted from time to time. I can’t complain because I do not want my kids to think it’s because of them. I do not want my children to feel sorry for me and become guilty for making me feel this way.

Don’t get me wrong; I told them I sometimes get tired of all the clutter and organization. But these are just kids. They can follow some of my rules, and I can order them to work on specific things, but their skills are limited. Thus, most of the task still falls on me. I tried to accomplish every task a few times a day, but my physical strength won’t cooperate.

I told my therapist that I have been holding this mental and emotional exhaustion for a long time because I do not want my children to think I can’t be there for them whenever they need me. I had postpartum anxiety when I had my last two children and I dreaded that feeling ever since. As much as possible, I want to keep the burden to myself because I don’t want them to worry about me. I often tell my kids I can do everything because I’m a super mom. And the thought of admitting to them that I am incapable makes me sad and unworthy.

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I Am Truly Hurt

Regarding my relationship with my husband, our parenting setup is great. He would provide for our needs. When it comes to financial support, my husband knows how to handle monetary issues. We do not have debts, but we live paycheck to paycheck. It means that there is not enough for savings and upgrades since most of the salary straightly goes to our food, bills, and daily needs.

But my mental agony has nothing to do with his take-home salary. It’s more about his infidelity. My husband has been cheating on me for quite a while now, and I am not confronting him. I told my therapist that I did not want to ask about it and upset him because I did not want to have a broken family.

I told my therapist that I would rather endure the emotional pain of knowing he has a mistress rather than compromise the overall well-being of my entire family, especially my children. For this matter, my kids are the most important ones that could greatly become affected when this whole fiasco comes out. Thus, there is nothing I can do but swallow the disrespect and unfaithfulness of my husband.

Am I that strong? Of course, not. That is why I asked my therapist for a couple of things I can do. Unfortunately, her advice is not something I can consider right now. Taking the courage to speak up about my thoughts and feelings could create a huge impact on my family, and I do not want that to happen.

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I Need Help

With all these frustrations with my family relationship, I told my therapist that I am dealing with the scariest thing right now. That is the constant thought of self-harm and suicide. I told her that there were a couple of times that, due to my emotional and mental agony, I even thought of harming my kids and decided to end their lives.

It was a terrifying experience because I would never do that to my children. But then these voices inside my head are trying to control me and tell me that I should end everyone’s life, including mine, so that I can be free from all this pain. I kept on praying that God would help me with this. May he clear my thoughts and guide me to better understand my situation.

I need help because I believe that I might give in at any moment.

Insight

I am thankful to my therapist for listening to my emotional and mental distress and ensuring I am still worthy of life. If it weren’t for her wonderful words and appreciation, I might have committed the worse mistake of my life. I am still in so much pain but am gradually learning to cope with negative thoughts. Soon, with the help of medication and therapy sessions, I know I can find ways to tell my family about these burdens I have.

Dealing With The Most Toxic People I Know (Family Therapy Discussion)

Have you ever felt like you have been surrounded by toxic people that only take so much of your time and energy? Have you ever felt like these individuals are causing you to mentally and emotionally self-destruct? And have you ever experienced being surrounded by people who only care about themselves and do not give a damn about your overall well-being? Sadly, I have, and these are no ordinary people. These toxic individuals are my family.

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Frustration, Anger, And Hate

The one thing I would never recommend to anyone is to hate their family. However, I know it is out of my control when people are forced to do that. In my case, I am extremely frustrated with my family members because they are causing me so much mental and emotional stress.

To emphasize the case, let’s start with my parents.

They often see me as an ATM. They would force me to provide for them whenever they needed financial support. And when in times that I tried to refuse, they would throw “We raised you” cards at me, making me feel guilty and vulnerable. Ultimately, I would give way to their needs and leave myself without anything.

Even when I was a kid, the situation was always like that. I thought it was normal that my parents would only appreciate me when I brought something beneficial to them. Like I remember winning a singing competition. I gave my parents all the prized money; they hugged and congratulated me. But they spend the cash on themselves. My mom went shopping for clothes, and my dad went gambling.

At that time, it was okay. I never sweat on winning it anyway. But as the years passed, incidents like that always happened, especially now that I am working. All my money goes to my family’s everyday needs. And their money only serves their wants and cravings.

Why did I not complain about it? Well, why should I? I was raised to believe that parents own their children and that their decisions are merely based on the parents’ approval.

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Things are different with my siblings, on the other hand.

They do not ask me for anything and don’t offer help either. It means we live in the house but with separate lives. We do not often talk. When we have a little discussion, it is merely about asking where our parents are. They never really intend to connect and communicate with me.

I see no problem with that. Besides, I am always busy at work and immediately go straight to bed when I get home. I do not have time to spare for a little chitchat because when I am at home, all I can think of is rest and sleep.

But what’s toxic about his sibling relationship is that it is as if we do not know each other. One time I tried to approach them, they shut me down. They clarified that they did not want anything to do with me. They do not want me to comment about their lives because they are not commenting on mine. I do feel a little frustrated. But since I’m the youngest, I must abide by their rules.

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Now let’s proceed to the undying connection with my relatives.

I am not fond of talking about my life, but when I do, I make sure that other people won’t have reasons to judge me. That is why I always aim for the best. However, with toxic relatives, nothing is enough. They always have something to say despite all your achievements, efforts, and hard work. It’s as if they know how to constantly tear your confidence apart. Both my parents’ sides are unbelievably inconsiderate.

The funny thing is they never treat my siblings like they treat me. They often make me feel like I don’t belong in the family and that my presence is nothing but a nuisance. The fact that I bring food to the table is not something they appreciate but rather question a lot.

My choices in life are always against their approval. They consider these bad choices because of my educational attainment, the school I graduated from, the course I took, the job I have, the relationship I make, and the friends I hang out with.

Why did I not explain my side? Would they listen? Honestly, I tried that already, and they seemed firm about what they thought about me, so it’s pointless to explain. They wouldn’t listen anyway.

Final Thoughts

I know I am not the only one struggling with these types of people. But I am sure disheartened due to the world’s unfairness for giving me these individuals as my family. I can guarantee that my life has been devoted and dedicated to them. But I never felt an inch of support, care, understanding, and love from them which makes it so depressing.

 

 

How A Counselor Juggles Her Career And Motherhood

I used to be a self-proclaimed selfish woman. I did not want to have pets because I don’t want to be burdened by taking care of them. I left my parents’ home at 18 years old because they kept making me help out with the household chores. I figured that being alone would be much better than having to deal with all those things.

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The thing was, destiny decided to teach me a lesson by introducing me to Jason when I was deeply invested in my career. He was a remarkable and funny guy who loved hanging out with me, even if I was a little mean to him initially. But I started feeling different towards Jason when I told him that I wanted to be alone forever.

Whenever I talked to someone about it in the past, they would often cringe and assume the worst of me. I even came across some people who distanced themselves from me after learning about my goal. However, Jason did not do any of that. Instead, he only said, “Cool, I respect your decision. But I also hope you won’t push me away because I hate being alone.”

Little by little, Jason broke down my loner wall. His thoughtfulness, wit, and charm made me fall in love with him. Then, I realized my views had changed entirely when I saw Jason grinning from ear to ear while waiting at me from his car. It made me imagine us building a life together.

Marriage, Pregnancy, And Doubts

I did not hesitate to say yes when Jason popped the big question at me a year later. Everyone I knew was pleasantly surprised when I dropped by their houses to give their wedding invitations. My mom even cried out of joy, saying that she had been praying for years for me to change my mind about my lonesome.

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Being married to Jason allowed me to see how foolish I was back then. Marriage with the right person was so blissful. We were in sync all the time; there was never a dull moment with my man.

In our happiness, I agreed when Jason suggested that we should flush my birth control pills in the toilet during our honeymoon. He said that it was legal for us to be reckless at that point, and I thought, “Why the heck not?”

Two months later, we found out I was pregnant. Jason could not contain his excitement. He was jumping up and down and humming, “I’m going to be a papa. I’m going to be a papa.”

Of course, I was happy, too. Ever since I got together with Jason, I secretly imagined what our baby would look like. However, I could not help but doubt my ability to become a good mother and stay in demand in my career. I talked to Jason about it, and my thoughtful husband said he would help me find a counselor ASAP.

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Getting Counseling

My husband kept his promise and soon introduced me to a counselor in the district. As soon as I saw Helga (the counselor), I felt at ease at once – like she could help me resolve all my issues. She was warm, soft-spoken, and super understanding as I shared my thoughts with her.

Then, I glanced at the shelf behind Helga’s desk and saw that most of the framed pictures there showcased three teenage girls smiling widely at the camera.

“Are those your daughters?” I could not help but ask, pointing at the pictures.

“Oh, yes, they are fraternal triplets,” Helga replied.

I was mind-blown in an instant. “How much did you spend on nannies?” I blurted out. I had to assume that she hired a few, considering she told me that she only took a few months off after childbirth before going back to work.

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Helga laughed slightly. “Oh, with all the diapers and milk that my husband and I had to buy, we did not have extra cash at the time to pay for nannies. Instead, I brought my babies to work every day until they were old enough to go to daycare.”

“How did you not lose your mind?” I asked.

“Well, I love my career and my family. I refused to give up either, so I was willing to do everything to make sure all parts of my life worked. It was not a cakewalk – there were a lot of sleepless nights – but the kids are all worth the effort.”

Final Thoughts

That was all I needed to hear about erasing my self-doubt. Helga instantly became the role model that I never knew I needed. Looking at how successful she was and how happy her kids were made me feel that I could follow in my counselor’s footsteps and be able to juggle my career and motherhood, too.

My due date was still a few months now, but I could not wait to meet my firstborn – a baby girl – and shower her with love and affection.

The Effects Of Bad Parenting To Your Child

What is bad parenting? Is there such a thing? How does it affect children and family dynamics? Is there something to it that you need to understand thoroughly? What are the disadvantages of this bad parenthood? To answer all the questions, let’s dive into this topic and discuss more of it here in this article.

Bad Parenting

Bad parenting is something that can significantly affect a child’s growth. Bad parenthood can even affect a person’s characteristics that can manifest even in adulthood. Bad parenthood is never easy. However, it can be avoidable. Parents are human beings and thus can also make mistakes.

I had been friends with Mary since our grade school days. We were technically sisters from different parents, and there was no secret between us. We knew all the good and bad points of each other, and we did not care about that.

You see, I decided to stay closer to my parents and study psychology at a local university. Meanwhile, Mary went to the East Coast to become a surgeon. There were no cell phones back then, but we were always on the telephone on weekends or sending emails to each other, so it was like we were not apart at all.

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A Friend Who Have Had Poor Parenthood

Then, when I got married, Mary was my maid of honor. It was the only time in seven years that she went home to her parent. We would see each other between those years, but that’s only because I would go to her place, not her bad parents.

It must seem bad that my best friend had not paraded to our hometown nor seen her parent for many years until my wedding day. The reason was that she had a lot of awful memories there, no thanks to her bad parenthood experiences.

As far as I recall with regards to my friend’s bad parenthood experience, her mother, Mrs. Jones was an alcoholic and bad drug addict. She could only get menial jobs because of her criminal records, and her money would go straight to bad addictions. It was lucky that Mary was brilliant; she always had scholarships even when we were in grade school. Still, there were many times when Mary would go to school without breakfast or at least lunch money and would have to wait until dinner for her bad parent to bring home leftovers from the diner where she used to work.

Parenthood

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I honestly did not know about my friend’s bad parenthood sufferings initially because Mary was so good at hiding her bad parent maltreatments. She would make different excuses as to why she would not eat with everyone else. I only found out when I went looking for her after finishing my meal quickly and finding her at the swings in the playground without any food in sight.

Bad Parenting?

My parents asked around about Mary and her bad parent, and that’s how we learned about her situation at home with her bad parenthood incidents. Mary already said that she did not want the social services to know about it because they would then bring her to the foster care system. To help my best friend, my parents told me to invite Mary to stay with us whenever she wanted to. 

At first, Mary was extremely shy about it. She said that she was fine and that she did not need to eat three times a day. But my parents knew better than that. Eventually, Mary opened up to my family about her bad parenthood experience, and we became inseparable.

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Her Perspective About Motherhood

Three years after getting married, I got pregnant with my first child. During that time, Mary also tied the knot with her long-time boyfriend. Because of that, I told her half-jokingly to start the babymaking process at once so that our babies would be close in age and go to school together.

To my surprise, Mary said that she did not want to have a child when I asked why she looked down and revealed that she was afraid of bad parenting like her mother. She was also afraid she might inflict bad parenthood on her children. “I know I can be a good wife, but bad parenting might be genetic, and I might have gotten that from mom.”

Counseling Bad Parenting

I wanted to give Mary a big hug and tell her that everything would be okay. However, I tried to let my counselor’s side take over because it was evident that my best friend’s fear stemmed from childhood issues and ineffective treatments from her bad parenthood experience that she hid from me. I had always assumed that she was all right because she technically grew up in our home. But that’s not the case.

Supporting My Friend Through Her Tough Times

I told Mary, “Please don’t think like that. Your bad parenthood experience might not have been that way before she developed substance addiction. The alcohol and the drugs altered her brain function, and that’s probably why she was awful to you. I believe that you can be the best parent that any kid can ask for if you choose to become one.”

two parents talking about bad parenting and bad habits
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Of course, Mary had to get a few more sessions with me before she finally accepted that she has experienced ineffective ways. We worked together to unravel all her childhood issues about her parent, and her bad parenting experiences, and ensure that they were all out in the open. Bad parenthood can be a hindrance to success as an adult.

Final Thoughts

I was the happiest best friend in the world when Mary told me the exciting news that she was also pregnant and could not wait to meet her baby. She was finally going to become a parent without the worries of bad parenthood. It’s a clear indication that our counseling sessions worked.

How I Beat Postpartum Depression

Have you ever had that feeling that you wanted something so badly that you can visualize happy endings? For the longest time that I was in a married relationship, all I wanted was to get pregnant and have a wonderful baby. I always thought that when the time comes that I am going to become a mother, I would be one of those badass moms.

I often pictured myself as a friendly, outspoken, cool, and easy-to-mingle parent that my kids would totally love. So when I got pregnant and delivered a cute baby boy, I told myself that “This is it.” This is the moment that I have been dreaming of. Finally, I will become the mom I visualized myself to be.

Suddenly, It Felt Different

Unfortunately, that feeling faded away so quickly. Instead of me getting a lot of confidence, I started to lose myself and doubted my capabilities not only as a first-time mom but as a person in general. My child’s birth opened my eyes to the reality of life that having a child is not easy. From there, I began to lose all the hopes I have and eventually forgot about what I wanted to be as a mom. In some instances, I tried to give myself some boost. Perhaps this is just the beginning, and things will get back to normal again once I got over the pressure of everything. Besides, I just gave birth a couple of months ago, so I guess this is only part of exhaustion and all that.

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And It Stayed That Way Longer Than I Expected And Wanted

But apparently, that feeling stayed for a longer period. And until now, I am still trying to figure out how to get better. Honestly, I already have an idea of what is happening. I am just in denial because I want to convince myself that this is nothing compared to my energetic and positive outlook in life. But guess what, I am dealing with postpartum depression (PPD), and that is a shame.

I Was In Denial

It was not easy for me to accept that I am going through PPD, as well as postpartum anxiety. I felt like I failed as a mother because I am not able to feel and appreciate the joy that I should feel as a newborn mother due to post partum depression. I was so consumed by the sadness, guilt, and anxiety that I felt like a zombie moving around. I was there but not there. I had no energy, and I felt like I was useless. I felt like I had no purpose and I was not able to take care of myself or my baby. I was so exhausted, yet I could not sleep. I was so overwhelmed by the pressure that I was feeling that I started to doubt my capabilities as a mom.

I Was So Scared And Alone

I wanted to reach out and talk to someone, but I was too embarrassed to admit that I was having postpartum depression. I thought that if I said something out loud, I would be judged and labelled as a bad mom. I was so embarrassed and ashamed of my condition that I kept it to myself.

I Searched For Answers, I Asked For Help

I was trying to find a way to get out of the darkness that I was in. I was searching for a way to feel better and be a better mom to my son. I looked for guidance, support, and understanding. I started to read books and articles about baby blues or postpartum depression and attend support groups. I was trying to get help and find people who could understand and relate to my health care condition.

Finally, I Found Help And Support

I sought out people who could understand me and provide me with the help and guidance that I needed with my depression symptoms. I talked about my struggles and found ways to cope with my postpartum depression.

I slowly started to get better and I was able to find my way out of the darkness. I developed the courage and strength to be a better mom for my son. I was also able to find the confidence to be the confident, outgoing, and caring mom that I have always wanted to be.

Seeking Help Was The Best Decision I Made

My postpartum depression journey was not easy, but I was able to get through it with the help and support of my family, friends, and medical professionals. I learned more about my condition and find the courage to be a better mom and a better person. I turned out to be the badass mom that I have always wanted to be.

It Made Me A Stronger Person And A Better Mother For My Child

I am now in a much better place and I am proud of the progress that I have made. I am proud of myself for having the courage to seek help and to be open about my condition. I am proud of myself for having the courage to be vulnerable and share my story. I no longer feel ashamed of my postpartum depression and I believe that my story can help and inspire other moms who are going through the same thing. I hope that by sharing my story, I can help other moms know that they are not alone and that there is help available.

What Are The Causes Of Postpartum Depression (PPD)?

There is often a dramatic drop in hormones in women’s bodies right after childbirth that contributes to postpartum depression. These hormones are, particularly estrogen and progesterone. The imbalance often leads the new mothers to exhaustion, sadness, hopelessness, anxiousness, and depression. In unfortunate cases, these feelings can lead to extreme measures that can influence new moms to self-harm and suicidal thoughts.

How Do You Get PPD?

PPD often promotes symptoms, including sadness and hopelessness. Usually, if a woman shows signs of crisis that bring her uncontrollable emotions, it is an obvious indicator that she is suffering and strongly affected by the history of depression. When her emotional and mental dilemma is taking a toll on her life, it is important to call a doctor immediately. PPD can occur from the first few weeks up to a year after giving birth, and often, women suffering from it are at risk of suicide.

What Is The PPD Period, And How Long Does It Last?

The postpartum period is divided into three individual stages. The first one is the initial or acute phase, which is about 6 to 12 hours after childbirth. Usually, emotional and mental issues in this phase are mild and can easily fade away. Then there is the sub-acute postpartum period. This one lasts for approximately two to six weeks. Depressive symptoms in this phase are persistent but often manageable. Lastly, there is a delayed postpartum period. It is a phase that can last up to six months or more. The severe case of delayed postpartum often leads to self-harm and suicidal thoughts as well as damaged health care.

Understanding PPD: How It Develops And Why.

Postpartum depression is a serious mental health condition that affects many new mothers. It is a type of major depression that can develop within weeks of giving birth and can last for several months. While many women experience some level of mood changes after childbirth, such as the “baby blues,” untreated postpartum depression can lead to more severe mood swings and even postpartum psychosis in rare cases. Women with a family history of mood disorders or who have experienced symptoms of postpartum depression in previous pregnancies are at an increased risk. It’s important to seek help from a mental health provider if you experience symptoms of postpartum depression. Talk therapy is often an effective treatment, and in some cases, medication may also be necessary. Don’t hesitate to seek help if you are struggling with postpartum depression or have concerns about your mental health. Don’t hesitate to seek help from a mental health provider if you are experiencing any postpartum depression symptoms or if you have any risk factors for developing postpartum depression, such as a history of mood disorders or a family history of depression. Seeking help and treatment early on can improve outcomes and prevent the condition from worsening.

How To Avoid PPD?

PPD is common in most women, regardless of their age. To prevent postpartum depression from happening, one should always consider focusing on self-care. It is essential to have a healthy lifestyle that is beneficial for overall health and recovery. Also, a new mom should need to build a strong foundation of her support system. She needs to make sure that friends and family are aware of the signs and symptoms of postpartum depression or PPD to help her heal better. It is also necessary to enlist a therapist to ask for professional recommendations regarding possible medication options.

Why Do They Say 40 Days After Birth?

Cuarentena is a period of about 40 days or six weeks. It is when the new mom refrains from having sex with her partner. She needs to dedicate herself solely to breastfeeding and taking care of the baby and herself. It is a strategy that helps new moms deal with postpartum confinement that is usually from 30 to 40 days after their delivery.

What Is Paternal PPD?

Paternal postpartum depression is a serious mental health problem that fathers may experience after giving birth, which can have a significant impact on their family members and requires the attention of a health care provider. Symptoms of paternal postpartum depression include depressed mood, mood swings, and trouble sleeping. Men who have a history of bipolar disorder or have experienced depression in the past may have a higher risk of experiencing postpartum depression after the birth of their child. An early postpartum checkup can help identify potential health problems and pregnancy complications that may lead to postpartum depression. Health professionals often use a depression screening questionnaire to assess whether new fathers are experiencing postpartum depression. Support groups can be a helpful resource for fathers who are struggling with the challenges of fatherhood and coping with the demands of a newborn. Seeking mental health help from a healthcare provider and joining support groups can provide valuable support and resources for fathers who are experiencing higher risk factors of postpartum depression or even postpartum psychosis.

How Long Does Anxiety Last After Having A Baby?

After giving birth, quite a few new moms experience stress, sadness, and anxiety rather than the joy and delight of becoming mothers. Frankly, it is normal since many people experience these so-called baby blues. These feelings are usual parts of postpartum recovery, and they usually go away after a couple of weeks following the delivery. However, if in case the anxiety tends to last, it is best to consult a medical expert for a possible diagnosis of postpartum depression.

Is It Normal To Feel Anxious After Having A Baby?

Honestly, both depression and anxiety are more common after a mom’s childbirth. The situation can also become more stressful when combined with the normal challenges of lack of sleep, unregulated eating habits, and unnecessary additional tasks. New moms also experienced feeling overwhelmed by being a new parent that they somehow think they cannot cope with. When things are out of hand and the emotional and mental state is at stake, it is best to seek professional help as quickly as possible.

How Long Until Your Hormones Are Normal After Pregnancy?

Typically, Six months postpartum is an excellent estimate for a new mom’s hormones to go back to normal. It is essential to understand that some hormone imbalance symptoms might stay for several weeks after delivering the baby. It is usually about 6 to 8 weeks. But those symptoms related to hormones while breastfeeding will stay put in the new mom’s body for as long as she breastfeeds.

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 Can Breastfeeding Hormones Cause Anxiety?

For some women who breastfeed, their body produces less and less prolactin, the milk-producing hormone, and oxytocin, the hormone that acts on organs in the body, including the breast and uterus. When women breastfeed, their dopamine drops excessively, and the resulting deficit causes a range of symptoms, including irritability, anxiety, and self-loathing.

 What Can Breastfeeding Moms Take For Anxiety?

There are several options that new moms can take their doctor to decide that prescribed medication is the best route for them to reduce their anxiety while continuing with breastfeeding. Some of the medications to consider include SSRI antidepressants. Examples of these are sertraline, fluoxetine, paroxetine, and citalopram.

Why Do I Feel Weird About Breastfeeding?

Most women would agree that breastfeeding usually feels strange at first and even completely painful. Most new moms suffer from latching issues, nipple chafing, and making too much or not enough milk. Aside from that, breastfeeding can also be anxiety-inducing. That is because their baby gets born, but their body is not done changing yet. Thus, there is a weird feeling that sometimes gets accompanied by flu-like symptoms.

 Can Breastfeeding Make You Feel Depressed?

It is often usual for new moms to feel exhausted in the postpartum phase. That is because they need to consider a lot of things, from healing from childbirth, taking care of a newborn baby, and producing breast milk. They also need to make an effort to breastfeed every 2 to 3 hours during the day and night. All these sudden tasks require a lot of emotional and mental energy.

 What Are The Negative Effects Of Breastfeeding?

Breastfeeding is essential for babies. It helps and protects them against sickness, allergies, and obesity. But though it is vital for kids, it can cause some side effects for few new moms. These side effects can include back pain since, most of the time, mothers often stay in an awkward position all the time. Then there is bruising, which is common in the mother’s breasts.

 Can Breastfeeding Affect Your Mental Health?

No. breastfeeding does not damage new moms’ mental health. In fact, it works the opposite way. A good breastfeeding experience can do wonderful things for women’s well-being, such as lowering their risk of anxiety and depression. It also helps them get more sleep and overcome past emotional and physical difficulties. It works well alongside reducing the risk of heart disease, reproductive cancers, and diabetes. Breastfeeding can also help mothers feel confident, empowered and heal birth trauma too.

 What Does Milk Let Down Feel?

Often, new moms’ may notice different sensations in or around their breasts during milk let down. A couple of tingling sensations somehow feel like pins and needles pinching through inside and outside the breast area.

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Final Thoughts

I understand that the things happening right now are out of my control. As much as I wanted to stay positive, I really can’t. But I don’t have to worry that much because I know with my family, friends, and therapist that I will get better. It might take me quite a while, but I still want to stay positive about my mental health. I want to do this not only for myself but for the child as well.

Frequently Asked Questions

What Happens When A Woman Undergoes Postpartum Depression?

Depression in any type and form, causes a range of challenging emotions, which comes with a lot of symptoms. This includes intense feelings of sadness, despair, and hopelessness. Moreover, it causes a person to lose interest in things and activities they once enjoyed. When a woman experiences postpartum depression, she losses appetite, experience sleep disturbances, and will feel fatigued. In terms of emotions, a woman will feel irritable, they will also find it difficult to concentrate, and may even think of harming themselves or their baby.

This is why it is crucial for women to have the support and professional help they need to properly and effectively address PPD.

Who Is At Risk For Postpartum?

There are lots of different factors that can increase the risk of postpartum depression. For one, some women are genetically inclined to experience it; those with a family history or personal history of anxiety and depression are likely to experience PPD after giving birth. This is because childbirth causes fluctuations in the hormones of the woman’s body (estrogen and progesterone levels), which plays a huge role in the condition.
Moreover, stressful life events, lack of social support, relationship problems, history of abuse and trauma, and financial difficulties are common contributing factors.
Subsequently, it is important to note that postpartum can affect any woman, regardless of age, cultural background, or socioeconomic status.

How Is Postpartum Treated/Cured?

Treatments for postpartum typically involves different combinations of personalized approach specifically tailored to the exact needs of the individual. Psychotherapy, specifically cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), is a staple in almost all types of treatment methods. This is because it is important to address the negative thought patterns of the patient first and help develop coping strategies.
For moderate and severe cases of PPD, treatment usually includes the use of antidepressant medication. Peer counselling and support groups are also almost always included in the treatment, as postpartum patients need valuable emotional support.
Lifestyle modifications, a balanced diet, regular exercise, and sufficient rest, are also advised for better overall wellbeing.

What Are The Emotional Phases Of PPD?

As with other types of depression, PPD is quite tricky, as it can manifest in various emotional phases. Initially, it manifests through overwhelming feelings of sadness. A woman can suddenly feel tearfulness and a sense of emptiness. Often, this feeling is accompanied by inadequacy as a mother and guilt. In many cases, this s followed by periods of anxiety, as the mother worries about the well-being of her baby. Many women will also feel a loss of interest and pleasure in things and activities they used to enjoy, which leads to a sense of detachment from the world.
Other symptoms include mood swings, heightened irritability, and difficulty concentrating. As the condition progresses, the woman can feel severe cases of despair and hopelessness. In worst cases, the thought of harming themselves and/or their baby will cross their mind. This is why care provider or professional intervention and emotional support are extremely important for women with PPD.

What Is The Hardest PPD Stage?

PPD can differ from one person to another. With that said, the most challenging stage is often the initial period: the recognition and acceptance of the condition. Since there always seems to be a stigma when it comes to mental health problems, acknowledging and coming to terms with it is often the hardest part.
Moreover, the overwhelming feeling of confusion, self-blame, and shame can easily confuse anyone. Not to mention the guilt of not experiencing the joy of motherhood and bonding with their baby can easily lead to a sense of failure as a mother. This is why seeking help and support is extremely crucial at this stage, as mothers need understanding and validation to commence their healing.

 

 

Frequently Asked Questions About Depression and Pregnancies

I was precisely four weeks into childbearing when I learned about it. My boyfriend as well as me did not expect or plan it since we had only been together for a year. However, he promised that he would care for me and my health and be an excellent partner as well as a father, so all my worries ebbed away.

Unfortunately, before the end of my first trimester, I received an email from an unknown sender. Its subject read: “YOU NEED TO SEE THIS.” I was not the type to open such emails for fear of getting spammed, but I did not know what got to me that day, so I opened it. It was from a girl named Marla, who claimed to be my boyfriend’s wife. She said that he stopped coming home one day, and she begged me to return him to her and their three kids.

A woman standing wearing a pink dress
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I could not cry instantly, especially when I scrolled further down and saw my boyfriend’s face in all the pictures that Marla had attached. I had no idea what to do next, but I knew one thing: I did not want my boyfriend in my life or my baby’s life. I threw away his clothes from my apartment that night and told him what I had learned about his civil status. He tried to explain, but I refused to listen to his excuses.

At the time, no one else knew about my pregnancy. My belly was not showing yet either, so even my coworkers were unaware of it. To lessen my emotional pain, I decided to take double shifts at work and barely eat. It was my way of coping with the depression that followed my breakup. And when I wasn’t working, I was crying for the wasted love I gave my ex. 

I soon realized that it was the worst coping mechanism, considering I experienced spotting and almost lost my baby during my pregnany journey.  My mental health was about to go into a downward spiral, and making decisions — smart ones — was getting more and more difficult.

Prevalence of Perinatal Depression During Pregnancy

Depression is a common mental health condition that affects many women experience during pregnancy. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG),  14% range 23% of women who are in their pregnancy experience some depression or other mood disorder during pregnancy. It’s a common mental illness.

Additionally, research suggests that women with a history of depression, anxiety, or other mental health conditions are at a higher risk of developing perinatal depression during pregnancy. Other risk factors that may increase the likelihood of depression during pregnancy include a lack of social support, financial stress, relationship problems, and a difficult pregnancy or birth experience.

It’s important to note that major depression during pregnancy is not a sign of weakness or a failure to cope with the challenges of pregnancy. Rather, it is a treatable medical condition that requires appropriate care and support. Seeking help and treatment for clinical features of unipolar major depression during pregnancy can improve outcomes for both the mother and the baby. The mother’s mental state and quality of health care has a significant effect on the baby.

Effects of Depression During Pregnancy

The simultaneous occurrence of depression and pregnancy can have a range of effects on both the mother and the developing fetus.

Maternal Effects:

  1. Increased risk of preterm labor and delivery
  2. Increased risk of preeclampsia
  3. Increased risk of gestational diabetes
  4. Increased risk of postpartum anxiety and depression
  5. Increased risk of thoughts and behaviors of suicide
  6. Lack of quality sleep
  7. Decreased maternal bonding with the infant

Fetal and Child Effects:

  1. Low birth weight
  2. Delayed fetal growth and development
  3. Cognitive and behavioral problems in Childhood
  4. Increased risk of developing antenatal unipolar depression and anxiety disorders later in life
  5. Increased risk of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in childhood
  6. Impaired emotional and social development

The effects of depression during pregnancy may vary in severity depending on the duration and severity of the depression, as well as other factors such as access to treatment and support systems. Early detection and treatment of depression during pregnancy can help reduce the risk of these negative outcomes.

Treatment Options for Depression During Pregnancy

There are several treatment options available for depression during pregnancy. The choice of treatment will depend on the severity of the depression and other individual factors.

Non-Pharmacological Interventions:

  1. Psychotherapy: Talk therapy, administered by a health care provider, can help women with depression during pregnancy by providing support, coping strategies, and a safe place to process emotions.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group for pregnant women with depression can help provide a sense of community and reduce feelings of isolation.
  3. Exercise: Physical health activity can help reduce mild to severe symptoms of depression and anxiety during pregnancy.
  4. Relaxation techniques: Yoga, meditation, and deep breathing exercises can help manage stress and improve mood.

Pharmacological Interventions:

  1. Antidepressants: Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are commonly prescribed antidepressants for pregnant women. The risks and benefits of taking antidepressants during pregnancy should be carefully weighed with the guidance of a healthcare provider.
  2. Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT): ECT may be recommended for pregnant women with severe depression who do not respond to other treatments. The procedure involves passing electric currents through the brain to produce a controlled seizure.

Pregnant women need to talk with their healthcare providers to determine the best course of treatment for their individual needs. The benefits of treating depression during pregnancy generally outweigh the risks, and untreated depression can have negative effects on both the mother and the developing fetus.

Does Crying When You’re Expecting A Child Affect The Baby?

Simple crying due to feelings of sadness cannot affect your baby during your pregnancy. However, when this becomes a little more than just a simple release of your emotions and becomes one of the symptoms of depression, this can start to be harmful to your baby. So when you begin to feel depressed and experience little interest in the things you once loved, this might have a severe effect on your baby. When this happens, make sure that you can visit a doctor and receive the necessary help that you may require. 

A woman is childbearing is sitting while wearing a white dress.
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Is Depression A Side Effect Of Pregnancy?

Studies suggest that women are more at risk of developing depression when they are pregnant and even after a few weeks of giving birth, which is known as postpartum depression. When a woman is pregnant, her hormone change may affect her brain chemicals, and this will cause her to develop and experience depression and/or anxiety. Some women might see this as the baby blues, but this might be something a little more than that, so make sure that you are consulting a doctor when you start to feel like it is more than that. A history of depression can also contribute, along with many other risk factors.

Can Your Emotions Affect Your Unborn Baby?

Yes, your emotions may affect your baby. When a mother feels happy and relaxed, the baby will feel the same way, and they will be developing in a comfortable and calm environment. In turn, a baby may also feel the effects of stress, anxiety, and depression. This will affect a child’s development from the body to the brain. Ensure that you can address these emotions appropriately, and if you feel like it is more than what you can handle, then go and consult a doctor you trust.

Can You Be On Depression Medication While Pregnant?

The answer to this is yes. However, there will be a balance between the risks and the benefits. This is something that, when taken, can help you become better. It will treat depression, especially when matched with counseling. On the other hand, this may cause some congenital disabilities in your baby due to exposure to the antidepressants you have been taking. So consult not only with your therapist but also with your OB-gyn to avoid having any further pregnancy issues, especially with your baby.

Can Babies Feel When Their Mom Is Sad?

The simple answer is yes. The baby will feel what the mother feels. So it is essential to regulate our emotions so that they do not develop into something such as depression or anxiety. Studies have shown that when the mother feels sad or stressed, the baby will feel the same way, and in turn, they will show signs of physiological changes that will align with what the mother feels. So be careful with your emotions during pregnancy. In this sense, your symptoms do affect your baby.

What Happens To The Baby When The Mother Cries?

Generally, nothing happens to the baby when the mother is crying. However, a baby can feel the mother’s emotions, and they may respond by showing signs of physiological changes that will correspond to the emotion that the mother is feeling. It is not something to worry about since mood disorders are normal during pregnancy. However, too much of it, leading to depression, can affect the baby’s development for both body and mind. 

Can I Take Anxiety Medication While I’m Expecting A Child?

As with antidepressants, anxiety medication can be taken during pregnancy, but of course, there will be risks involved. Make sure that you consult with both a therapist and an OB-gyn to make sure that nothing wrong happens to both the mother and the baby. This medication can cause congenital disabilities, and it can cause your baby’s development to slow down. Be wise about your decisions when taking medicines as it will affect not only you but also your baby.

Can Antidepressants Cause Miscarriage?

A study in Denmark with a sample size of one million women where 20 thousand had taken antidepressants found that women who take antidepressants early in the pregnancy have the same risk of miscarriage as those women who had stopped taking the medication before they got pregnant, which means that like alcohol and other vices or addictions, antidepressants can also cause an increase in risk for a miscarriage. Consult a doctor to make sure that you do not experience the unfortunate events of a miscarriage.

Can I Get Pregnant If My Husband Is On Antidepressants?

Yes, you are still able to get pregnant even if your husband is taking antidepressants. Still, it may be advisable to make a few changes to your husband’s medication to increase his ability to conceive a child. Although there are ways that you can do to improve the ability to conceive without having to change anything with medications, it is still important that you seek the proper medical advice that you will need before going on this journey.

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Can The Unborn Baby Feel The Mother’s Pain?

The baby does feel what the mother feels, from happiness to sadness to stress and depression. So the mother must be in her best physical and mental state to avoid harming the baby and its development during pregnancy, especially their body and mind. Accidents may happen, so make sure that you seek medical attention no matter how minor the incident.

What Are Some Ominous Signs When Expecting A Child?

Of course, vaginal bleeding is a big red flag during pregnancy. There are also fevers of 100 degrees Fahrenheit or higher, fewer movements with the baby, seizures, vomiting, contractions more than four times in an hour, and problems with your vision. No matter how minor the change or experience, consult your doctor. It may save your baby’s life.

Final Thoughts

My family and friends finally found out about my pregnancy when I experienced spotting and needed to write a contact person once I got admitted to the hospital. It came as an absolute shock to my parents, especially when they found out why my boyfriend was no longer in the picture, but they supported my decision to keep him out for good. When my boss allowed me to get early maternity leave, I moved back to my parent’s home, where I began to heal emotionally, physically, and mentally. By the time my baby arrived, I was already more than ready to become a mother.

Is Depression A Symptom While Childbearing?

Does Depression Make You High-Risk Pregnancy?

Can Childbearing Affect Your Mental Health?

Do Negative Thoughts Affect The Unborn Baby?

Can Babies Feel Their Mother’s Sadness?

Postpartum Anxiety: Frequently Asked Questions

Motherhood is an exciting journey. It cannot be denied that it is indeed a blessing that most moms are looking forward to experiencing. However, inclusive to being a parent is the reality that it can be exhausting and soul-sucking. A mother may feel like you know much about how to be a mother. But at the same time, you are also questioning everything. Exhaustion and burnout can affect the new mom in many ways.

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Postpartum Anxiety

The condition known as postpartum anxiety is a close relative of postpartum depression. The American Pregnancy Association states that 10% of the majority of new moms are affected by it due to personal or family history. The typical signs are racing thoughts, feelings of dismay or terror, and excessive worry. Some worry is pliable. It is a normal reaction to safeguarding one’s newborn, and it is often manifested by hyper-vigilance and over-protectiveness.

This is why, as the Mayo Clinic reported, almost 90% of new parents claim that they frequently feel overly anxious with fearful thoughts that their baby might suffocate, stop breathing, or slip when they are in the shower or that someone might snatch their baby in the mall. Most doctors agree that many parents experience ‘mental noise’ or chaos of the mind because of these fearful and racing anxious thoughts. When they eventually learn to ignore them, the thoughts stop coming back.

On the contrary, if your anxieties are unreasonable (for example, if you have an extreme fear that your newborn will be harmed if you don’t keep carrying him), and you can’t get them off of your head, you may be experiencing postpartum anxiety. This usually becomes an issue when it affects daily circumstances, if it disrupts one’s capacity to function, or if panic attacks suddenly arise and there are signs of the disorders.

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Symptoms

Excessive Worrying Or Fear

Feeling constantly worried or fearful, often about the new baby’s health, safety, or well-being. This can also involve intrusive thoughts, such as imagining worst-case scenarios or a constant sense of worry about the baby and overall feeling overwhelmed, especially if a previous prenatal loss was experienced.

Physical Symptoms

Anxiety can also manifest in physical ways, such as having difficulty sleeping, experiencing headaches or body aches like having trouble sitting, feeling tense or on edge, or having postpartum or panic attacks and heart palpitations.

Irritability Or Restlessness

Feeling easily agitated or irritated, having difficulty concentrating or focusing while doing household chores, and feeling restless or unable to relax. It is also worth considering the changes in mood if it is still in a normal rate or it is leading to affective disorders.

Changes In Appetite

Anxiety can cause changes in appetite, such as a loss of appetite or overeating. The effect of eating disorders and past depression during perinatal depression and anxiety in a longitudinal general population cohort.

Avoidance Behaviors

Avoid situations that can trigger, such as leaving the house, social situations, or being alone with the baby.

Obsessive-Compulsive Symptoms

Obsessive thoughts or obsessive compulsive behaviors, such as excessive cleaning or checking on the baby repeatedly. This compulsive disorder requires attention.

Postpartum anxiety symptoms and the postpartum depression period can vary widely and may differ from person to person.If you’re experiencing any of these obsessive compulsive disorder symptoms or other concerns, it’s essential to seek help from a healthcare provider or mental health provider.

Causes

Hormonal changes: After giving birth, there are significant hormonal changes that occur in a woman’s body, including a drop in estrogen and progesterone levels. These changes can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression.

Sleep deprivation: Sleep deprivation is common after giving birth, which can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and make it difficult to manage stress.

Family History: Women with a family history of depression and anxiety are more likely to experience symptoms of postpartum anxiety disorders.

Lack of support: Feeling isolated or unsupported by family members can increase the risk of developing postpartum anxiety. Women who don’t have a strong support system, either from a partner, family, or friends, may feel overwhelmed and anxious on top of having a new baby.

Life stressors: Other life stressors, such as financial strain, relationship issues, toxic family members, or difficulties adjusting to motherhood, can contribute to postpartum anxiety. Having an existing mental illness prior to having a new baby is also a contributing factor to the disorder.

There’s no single cause of postpartum anxiety, and it’s often the result of a combination of these risk factors. If you’re experiencing postpartum anxiety, it’s essential to seek help from a healthcare provider or mental health provider who can work with you to develop a treatment plan. There are different types of therapy that might work, like cognitive behavioral therapy or other forms of therapy, depending on the patient’s needs.

Below are some answers to frequently asked questions about postpartum anxiety.

How Long Do Worried Thoughts Last After Having A Baby?

Postpartum anxiety does not have the common signs with baby blues, which usually lasts for only two weeks. This type does not often disappear by itself. It is vital to ask for help from professionals if it is interfering with sleep or if you are persistently occupied with doubts and worries. In mild cases, moderate or severe anxiety that is left untreated, the postpartum anxiety period or baby blues does not go away and could persist indefinitely.

Is Having Worried Thoughts Normal After Having A Baby?

In truth, not all moms are aware that having worries or fear or experiencing panic attacks is not uncommon after delivering a baby. About 10% to 15% of new mothers are diagnosed with the disorder, and approximately 50% of those with postpartum depression will potentially suffer from postpartum anxiety. If your daily function is being affected by the amount of fear and worry that you are experiencing, it is safe to consult your healthcare provider to know the best course of action.

How Do You Deal With Stress After Having A Baby?

You can try following these simple tips to help you manage your stress after delivering your baby:

  • Try seeing other people to relieve tension and stress.
  • Spend time with family and friends and do something that you enjoy
  • Spend quality time with your spouse
  • Be more expressive – it helps release tension.
  • Find ways to relax.
  • Recognize that you need help and learn to accept help from others

What Helps You Get Over Worried And Fearful Thoughts?

Some basic steps that you can try to relieve your worries include:

  • Eat healthy and well-balanced food.
  • Avoid consuming too much caffeine and alcohol, which further increases your anxious feelings and provokes panic attacks.
  • Take time to enjoy and relax.
  • Get a sufficient amount of sleep.
  • Practice mindfulness and deep breathing
  • Do the best that you can to be better.

How Long Will Anxieties Last?

Anxiety typically peaks within ten minutes and seldom persists for more than 30 minutes. However, during this short period, you may go through feeling extremely afraid, as if you are out of control or you’re on the verge of dying.

What Are The After-Effects Of Anxiety?

Studies are continually being performed regarding the subject. Still, so far, they’ve revealed that some potential long-term after-effects of anxiety include heart diseases, various gastrointestinal problems like irritable bowel syndrome, and a decreased immune system.

How Long Until Your Hormones Are Normal After Pregnancy?

Six months after pregnancy and delivering the baby would be an appropriate estimate for when the hormones in your body will return to normal. This would be when a lot of women experience their primary postpartum phase, and that is not an accident. After six months, postpartum hormonal deviations, particularly in progesterone and estrogen, should return to their pre-pregnancy states.

Can Breastfeeding Hormones Cause Worried Thoughts?

When mothers are breastfeeding, the hormone dopamine is reduced in levels for prolactin levels to increase. Experts suggest that dopamine excessively falls for other women who breastfeed, and the deficit will result in various symptoms, including self-hate, anger, and anxiety.

How Long Does It Take To Feel Normal After Having A Baby?

Complete recovery from getting pregnant and having a baby could take months. Many new moms feel that they recovered in about six to eight weeks, although they reported that it took them longer than eight weeks to feel like themselves again. During this period, you might feel like your entire body has revolted against you. Try not to be very disappointed.

Can Babies Sense When Mom Is Sad?

Infants differ in their sensitivity, and according to several studies, babies, too, feel and respond to their parent’s emotional signals. In general, they pick up on emotions that their moms give off. Other studies state that when infants are merely a few months old, they can distinguish a cheerful expression from a sad one.

Do Relationships Change After Having A Baby?

Ties with family, friends, and significant others are often different after having a child. The changes that happen from only two in the family to three, or perhaps more, could be among the biggest changes you will face when you are a new parent.

How Can I Instantly Reduce Postpartum Anxiety?

Some effective ways that you can try to improve your anxiety symptoms right now include:

  • Take deep breaths
  • Evaluate your thoughts
  • Recognize and accept that you are having an anxiety
  • Practice relaxing visualizations
  • Observe without judging
  • Practice self-talk to boost your self-esteem and improve your mood
  • Concentrate on doing something right now

How Do I Train My Brain To Stop Worrying?

Here are a few ways to train your brain to stop worrying:

  • Be true to yourself
  • Don’t try to solve things on your own
  • Observe self-care
  • Try to accept that sometimes things can be out of your control.
  • Know your intentions and be conscious of them
  • Practice health relaxation and mindfulness techniques
  • Be positive
Source: rawpixel.com

How Does Meditation Help Ease Postpartum Anxiety?

What Causes Postpartum Anxiety?

What Are Effective Non-Medical Treatments For Those Who Suffer From Excessive Worries After Delivering Their Baby?

What Is The Impact Of Anxiety On Women Who Just Gave Birth?

What Are Effective Mon-Medical Treatments For Those Who Suffer From Anxiety After Delivering Their Baby?

If you have tried taking anti-anxiety medication or antidepressant medications before like SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) and found them effective, you might want to start retaking them. However, you need to speak with your healthcare provider or mental health professional about how a specific medication may impact your baby. Postpartum anxiety medication should only be taken when prescribed by your doctor.

Lastly, always keep in mind that whether your anxiety condition is moderate or severe, it is best to find help at the soonest time possible. Remember that caring for yourself is caring for your baby as well.

The Bottom Line

Postpartum anxiety is a common and treatable condition that can affect women after giving birth. It’s important to recognize the symptoms and seek help from a medical professional or mental health provider if you’re experiencing fears and worries after having a baby. With the right support and treatment, and if you accept the help for the postpartum anxiety and depression to be treated, allow new mothers to enjoy motherhood and care for their babies with confidence and peace of mind. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and there are resources available to help you through this challenging time.

How To Take Care Of My Mental Health – How It Seems Impossible

People’s psychological exhaustion is a popular topic these days. It can instantly catch people’s attention because of the wide range of confusion it contains.

As for me, I get to think about it often because I know everyday experiences are contributing factors to our physical health, mental health, and overall well-being. Since I am a wife, a mother fostering child independence, a daughter, and a friend, I get to experience anxiety, stress, depression, and some other mental illness of some sort everywhere. I feel like there is no time for me to rest, take care of myself, and make myself feel good, and that just sucks.

I pretty much want to pause for a while from my responsibilities and avoid emotional well-being issues, physical problems, and psychological torture. Honestly, the issue here is not about what stresses my whole daily life.

Instead, it is about the things I can’t do to have stable energy levels, good mental health, and maintain a well-balanced overall well-being.

Taking care of your mental health
Source: pixabay.com

I Get Exhausted As Well

One of the heartbreaking things I often try to accept is that I am responsible for almost everyone. I sincerely get the idea that as a wife, I need to have self-confidence and be there for my husband.

I have to become the emotional support that he can lean on every time he thinks that things are falling apart. Thus, taking care of my mental health and making my health problems go away is very important. Also, I understand my duties as a mom. I recall the teen counseling expert’s statement that my kids are still learning to get a hold of life, so I know I must find ways communicating with teenagers and to be there for them throughout their health development.

As a daughter, I understand that I still have responsibilities to my parents despite having limited resources. Lastly, I know that social connection with other people requires me to exert an effort as well. With all these in my hand, I can say that I am not one of the lucky individuals who can have moments for themselves.

Unfortunately, I don’t have enough time to take care of my mental health. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining about my life, and I understand the value of keeping my responsibilities intact. However, I just want the world to know that I get exhausted too.

I feel tired and fed up with stress and pressure all day. Why can’t I have a break? I want to take care of my mental health. I can’t do the things that you do to improve your mental state. I wish I could. I want to do some deep breathing and excuse myself from all the piled-up things I need to do, even just for a single day.

Source: pixabay.com

Can I Not Give A Damn About Things?

It is true that the only way I can get through this mental exhaustion is to not give a damn about everything. However, that is entirely not possible. I can’t just ignore my husband and tell him I don’t want to carry all his desperations and frustrations because I am his wife.

I promised to be there for him no matter what. Thus, I have to stick to that promise and take it all in. And to my kids, I can’t vanish and leave them all behind because they won’t be able to handle things on their own. They are too young for stress and more significant responsibilities.

I still need to be there for them to teach them everything they have to know and understand. To my parents, I get that I should not have to worry about them anymore since I have got my own family members now.

But I am still their daughter. There will be times when they will have to contact me for help, and I must be there for them. Why not? And to my social connections, I can’t just let go of that.

I need them to be there for me, especially when I don’t want to be there for myself. I need people to surround me with positivity so that I can manage to get through. I can’t just ignore these essential things in my life because, without them, I would not have a purpose.

Source: pixabay.com

What Are My Options?

I know, for a fact, that my mental health is essential. That is why I try my best not to allow myself to get drained emotionally and mentally. As much as possible, I try to take care of my mental health.

In fact, I take serious precautions when it comes to my overall health needs. Thus, I engage in healthy routines and a healthy lifestyle that can support that. I focus on regular exercise regularly by doing an ample amount of chores in the house.

I eat healthy foods because I have to put that on the table for my kids. I drink plenty of water because I move my body a lot. And I talk to people often because I continuously rant about all the problems I encounter every day. Unfortunately, that seems not enough.

I even try mental health treatment and seek mental health professional help. But that mental health care is not working either.

Source: pixabay.com

Again, I don’t blame the people in my life for all the responsibilities I need to do for them. I love them, so I don’t regret every hardship and exhaustion or whatever it is that is emotionally, physically, and mentally weighing me down.

However, I just have this feeling of wanting to be with myself and away from everyone’s noses. Would that be selfish, especially if I only wanted to take care of my mental health? Should I consider mental health services or seek professional assistance for wanting to be with myself?

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